the shitty thing about chronic pain – say, neck pain from scoliosis – is that when NEW…

the shitty thing about chronic pain – say, neck pain from scoliosis – is that when NEW pain is introduced – in, for e.g., a car accident – none of your usual coping or pain-reduction tricks work. the anti-spasmodic they put me on is hopefully doing its job of preventing the new pain from worsening or having bad knock-on effects, but I kind of don’t know how to deal with the pain level I’m currently having.

the absolute WORST part about chronic plus new pain is that it moves me from “bad but deal-with-able” to “barely functional”. cross your fingers that this is temporary, ‘cause I’ve got shit to do, yo.

from Tumblr http://ift.tt/2vOStvD

the shitty thing about chronic pain – say, neck pain from scoliosis – is that when NEW…

the shitty thing about chronic pain – say, neck pain from scoliosis – is that when NEW pain is introduced – in, for e.g., a car accident – none of your usual coping or pain-reduction tricks work. the anti-spasmodic they put me on is hopefully doing its job of preventing the new pain from worsening or having bad knock-on effects, but I kind of don’t know how to deal with the pain level I’m currently having.

the absolute WORST part about chronic plus new pain is that it moves me from “bad but deal-with-able” to “barely functional”. cross your fingers that this is temporary, ‘cause I’ve got shit to do, yo.

from Tumblr http://ift.tt/2vOStvD

stupid spine update

stupid spine is still stupid, but I’ve had a breakthrough: the NP I see for pain management has finally read my chart and learned that I have scoliosis and kyphosis. well done, sparky; it only took you a year. 

I wish I were kidding. 

on the plus side, I was given prescriptions for anti-inflammatory pills & topical, in which I am investing but little hope.

I also got to shatter a friend’s hopes – apparently, they thought scoliosis would just stop hurting at some point? “why are you still in pain?” “because my spine … is further out of whack than it was a year ago?” happily, they didn’t jump in with the victim blaming in the form of “well, would it be this bad if you’d treated it when you were young?” which I’ve totally gotten before. like what is the point of that question other than to make me feel shitty about myself? treatment was just BARELY recommended because the curve was close to the limit and I was a teen with shitty self-esteem who didn’t want the brace to make my life worse.

ANYWAY. 

trying not to let my stupid spine run my life, but it’s been consuming more than its fair share of spoons of late, and I’ve got shit I need to get done. the state of my floors is execrable.

from Tumblr http://ift.tt/2pV31Ha

tfw you’re in pain and you’ve got half a goofball you could take but you’re at work and you’re already tired from not sleeping well because of pain (and a stupid brain, thanks a lot brain) and don’t like taking goofballs during the day and anyway you’re practically an auditor and can’t be stoned at work even though half a pill would probably just take the edge off the pain and omfg chronic pain is bullshit y’all

everything is awful

Today is not a good day.

I’m in pain from my stupid spine.

My stupid thyroid is making my stupid diabetes behave unbelievably badly.

I have an appointment with my GP today, in which she will probably yell at me for my stupid diabetes, which has me posting ridiculous glucose numbers despite eating practically no carbs. (Seriously. My dinner last night contained a whopping 18g of carbs & my BG was 165 what the actual fuck.)

And then! Our health insurance through COBRA just cost very nearly my entire pay for the month. Which does not cover, let me just point out, the cost of USING our insurance – copays, prescriptions, shit they decide just isn’t covered, etc. We shall not speak of mortgage payments, utilities, insurance, gas, car payment or, y’know, food.

(Someone tell me again how ‘Murca is the greatest country in the world. Go on, I fucking dare you.)

I’m drowning in awful.